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"Thought
of the Day"
Archive
7/16/99 Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. --Robert Frost
7/17/99 A hair in the head is worth two in the brush. --Oliver Herford
7/18/99 To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge. --Benjamin Disraeli
7/19/99 He who hesitates misses the green light, gets bumped in the rear, and loses his parking place --Herbert V. Prochnow
7/20/99 There are only two ways of getting on in the world: by one's own industry, or by the stupidity of others. --Jean de La Bruyere
7/21/99 Intuition is what enables a woman to contradict her husband before he says anything.
7/22/99 To be poor without being resentful is difficult; to be rich without being arrogant is even harder.
7/23/99 Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person. --Ethel Watts Mumford
7/24/99 Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expexct. --Stephen Leacock
7/25/99
Forgive your enemies, but don't forget their names.
---John F. Kennedy
7/26/99 Bigamy is having one husband too many, monogamy is the same. ---Anonymous
7/27/99 Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. --Howard W. Newton
7/28/99 Man is natures sole mistake ---William Schwenck Gilbert
7/29/99 When you're down and out, something always turns up...and it's usually the noses of your friends.---Orson Welles
7/30/99 The haredst job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. ---Fred Astaire
7/31/99 A man wonders what the future holds in store.... a woman wonders what the stores hold in the future---Carol Rumsey
A stitch in time saves embarrassing exposure.
Of all the home remedies, a good wife is the best.--Frank McKinney Hubbard
If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success.---John D. Rockefeller
Summer is the time when it's too hot to do the things it was too cold to do in the winter.
Winning isn't everything...but wanting to win is.--Vince Lombardi
Anger is never without a reason, but seldom with a good one.--Benjamin Franklin
Nothing deflates so fast as a punctured reputation.--Thomas Robert Dewar
The most popular labor-saving device today is still a husband with money.--Joey Adams
One can survive everything nowadays except death. --Oscar Wilde
He who
stands for nothing, falls for anything.
--William Shakespeare
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.---Voltaire
It is a great misfortune neither to have enough wit to talk well nor enough judgement to be silent. ---Jean de La Bruyere
When a man is wrapped up in himself, he make a pretty small package. --John Ruskin
Another good reducing excercise consists in placing both hands against the table edge and pushing back.---Robert Quillen
The brighter you are, the more you have to learn. ---Don Herold
We are inclined to believe those we do not know, because they have never decieved us.---Samuel Johnson
It is circumstance and proper timing that give action its character and make it either good or bad.---Agesilaus II, King of Sparta
I Trust everybody.......but I always cut the cards.---unknown
Our experience is that presents make the heart grow fonder.---Herbert V. Prochnow
Death and taxes and childbirth! There's never a convenient time for any of them. ---Margaret Mitchell
No one
can make you feel inferior without your consent.
---Eleanor Roosevelt
Being a sex symbol has to do with an attitude, not looks. Most men think it's looks, most women know otherwise.---Kathleen Turner
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. ---Eleanor Chaffee
A good
woman inspires a man; a brilliant woman interests him; a
beautiful women fascinates him; and a sympathetic woman gets him.
---Helen Rowland
The
best index to a person's character
is how he treats people who can't do him any good,
and how he treats people who can't fight back.---Abigail Van Buren
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face....You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ---Eleanor Roosevelt
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary. --May V. Smith
A
successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
---Lana Turner
One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.---Lucille Ball
Etiquette is what you are doing when people are looking and listening. What you are thinking is your business.--Virginia Cary Hudson
A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.---Lisa Kirk
Its hard to be funny when you have to be clean.---Mae West
When a
man gets up to speak,
people listen then look.
When a woman gets up,
people look; then,
if they like what they see,
they listen.---Pauline Frederick
I want
to do it because I want to do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others. ---Amelia Earhart
A woman is like a teabag--you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.---Nancy Reagan
When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.---Helen Keller
This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover.---Dorothy Fuldheim
It is possible that blondes also prefer gentlemen. ---Mamie Van Doren
The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you. ---Bette Midler
Fashion is made to become unfashionable. ---Coco Chanel
A
woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
--- Gloria Steinem
The
trouble with some women is that they
get all excited about nothing.......
and then marry him.-----Cher
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't. ---Margaret Thatcher
The haredst job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. ---Fred Astaire
Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you're really strangers. ---Mary Tyler Moore
It's sad for
a girl to reach the age
Where men consider her charmless,
But it's worse for a man to attain the age
Where the girls consider him harmless.
---Anon.
Behind
every successful man is a
surprised woman.
---Maryon Pearson
submitted by Noreen Grimes -- Sandy Hook, Virginia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
--Eleanor Roosevelt
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. * Helen Hayes (at 73)
I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. * Janette Barber
Who ever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think - I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. * Jan King
A few weeks after my [breast cancer] surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!" * Linda Ellerbee
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. * Lily Tomlin
You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. * Geri Jewell
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. * Carrie Snow
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. * Laurie Kuslansky
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. * Erma Bombeck
Old age ain't no place for sissies. * Bette Davis
A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. * Rhonda Hansome
Th phrase "working mother" is redundant. * Jane Sellman
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. * Jennifer Unlimited
Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. * Charlotte Whitton
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. * Caryn Leschen
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. * Jennifer Unlimited
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning. * Catherine Aird
When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss... and they called ME slow! * Kathy Buckley
Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee. * Stephanie Piro
Behind every successful woman...... is a basket of dirty laundry. * Sally Forth
Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes.
9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white.
8. Crying can be fun
. 7. FAT CLOTHES.
6. A salad, diet drink, and a hot fudge sundae make a balanced lunch.
5. Discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.
4. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
3. A good man might be hard to find, but a good hairdresser is next to impossible.
2. Why a phone call between two women never lasts under ten minutes.
AND THE NUMBER ONE THING ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND: 1. OTHER WOMEN!
SMART WOMEN
I'm
not offended by all the dumb
blonde jokes because I
know I'm not dumb .... and I also
know that I'm not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-
.
You see a lot of smart guys with
dumb women, but you hardly ever see
a smart woman with a dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-
I want to have children, but my
friends scare me. One of
my friends told me she was in labor
for 36 hours. I don't even
want to do anything that feels good
for 36 hours.
-Rita Rudner-
.
I've been on so many blind dates,
I should get a free dog.
-Wendy Liebman-
Never lend your car to anyone to
whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck-
If high heels were so wonderful,
men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears
makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-
I think-therefore I'm single.
-Lizz Winstead-
.
When women are depressed they
either eat or go shopping.
Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-
Behind every successful man is a
surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-
I base most of my fashion taste
on what doesn't itch.
-Gilda Radner-
. In politics, if you want anything
said, ask a man; if you want anything
done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher-
I have yet to hear a man ask for
advice on how to
combine marriage and a career.
-Gloria Steinem-
Some of us are becoming the men
we wanted to marry.
-Gloria Steinem-
I never married because there was
no need. I have three pets at home
which answer the same purpose as a
husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning,
a parrot that swears all afternoon,
and a cat that comes home late at night
-Marie Corelli-
Nagging is the repetition of
unpalatable truths.
-Baroness Edith-Summerskill
If men can run the world, why
can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start
the day by tying a little
noose around your neck?
-Linda Ellerbee-
I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I
keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
Nobody can
make you feel inferior
without your permission.
-Eleanor Roosevelt-
SMART WOMEN... Submitted by Judy Straight----Wheeling, WV
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