California Combs Dumb Blond Joke Archive

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7/16/99 Boss: Didn't you get the letter I sent you? Blond employee: Yes sir. I read it on the inside and on the outside. On the inside it said "you're fired!" On the outside it read,"return in five days." So...here I am!

7/17/99 A Dumb blond, Santa, and a Smart blond were walking down the beach, and they saw a $10.00 dollar bill laying on the sand. Who got to keep it? The dumb blond........the other two don't exist. ---submitted by Kim Wesson--Englewood, FL

7/18/99What do you call it when a blond dyes her hair brunette? Artifical intelligence.

7/19/99 A building contractor was speaking with a woman about a job. In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room, she told the contractor she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The contractor wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?" "I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blonds laying sod across the street".

7/20/99 How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? Only one........She holds it up to the socket and waits for the whole world to revolve around her.--- submitted by Robert J. Sandor--Grafton, WV

7/21/99 A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island. For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says "Since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one". So the brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life- I just want to go home." POOF, she is gone. The redhead makes her wish, "this place sucks, I want to go home too." POOF, she is gone. The blond starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "What is the matter?" The blond said, "I wish my friends were here."

7/22/99 What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blond hair? Last year's Hide and Seek winner.

7/23/99 A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem
to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There
is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns
a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your
car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one
month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."

7/24/99 Why did the blond wear condoms over her ears?
So she wouldn't get hearing aids!

7/25/99 Two old blond ladies were walking around a somewhat overcrowded English country churchyard and came upon a tombstone. The inscription said: Here lies John Smith, A polition and an honest man. "Good heavens!" said one lady to the other. "Isn't it awful that they had to put two people in the same grave!"

7/26/99 A husband and his blond wife are driving down the freeway when a cop pulls them over:
COP: Sir, you were speeding.
BLOND WIFE: I told you to slow down, honey.
HUSBAND: Would you be quiet!
COP: You also made an illegal turn.
BLOND WIFE: Yes dear you did do that.
HUSBAND: Please keep your mouth closed!
COP: Looks like your tags are expired too.
BLOND WIFE : Didn't you take care of that last month?
HUSBAND: Will you shut up!!
COP: Ma'am, is your husband always so rude to you?
BLOND WIFE: No. Only when he's drunk.

7/27/99 A doctor and his blond wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!" he shouted and stormed off to work. By midmoring, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his blond wife picked up the phone.
"What took you so long to answer?"
"I was in bed."
"What were you doing in bed this late?"
"Getting a second opinion."

Friend: "What you don't realize is that you would be out of a job of your dumb blond boss were any smarter."

7/29/99 What do you call a basement full of blonds?
A whine cellar! --submitted by Robert Sandor, Grafton WV

7/30/99 What do you call a Blond walking down the street.
A heartattack waiting to happen.

7/31/99 In a hosiery store, a Dumb Blond saw a pair of hose that cost $3.98, so she bought them.
"Four dollars and twenty cents, please," the sales lady said.
"The sign says $3.98," the Dumb Blond answered.
The 22 cents is for tax," she explained.
"Well never mind," the dumb blond said, "I don't use tacks. I wear garters."

A Dumb Blond was walking on the opposite of the river from a brunette. The brunette yells across to the blond, "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The blond hesitates, looks back and replies, "You ARE on the other side!"

A Dumb Blonde girl goes to work one day crying because she found out her mom had just died. Her boss asks her 'What's wrong?? Why are you crying??'. She replies 'I just found out that my mom passed away'. The Boss decides to let her have the day off but she insists on working so that she can keep her mind off her mom. A few hours later her boss decides to check on her and he goes in to her office and see's her crying histerically. He asks again 'Why are you crying??' she says 'My sister called saying tha t her mom died too'.

"Helloooo!" shouted the balloonist down to the Dumb Blond. "Where am I?"
The Dumb Blond looked up and shook her head. "You can't fool me, mister," she retorted, "You're right up there in that little basket!"

A brunette, redhead and a blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and
relaxation. After a stimulating healthy lunch,
all three decided to visit the ladies room
and found a strange-looking woman sitting at the entrance who said,
"Welcome to the ladies room. Be sure to check out our newest
feature: a mirror which, if you look into it and say something truthful,
you will be awarded with a wish. But, be warned, for if you say something
false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"
The three women quickly entered and upon finding the mirror, the Brunette
said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three" and in and instant she
was surrounded by a pile of money. The redhead stepped up and said "I think
I'm the most talented of us three" and she suddenly found the keys to a
brand new Lexus in her hands. Excited over the possibility of having a
wish come true, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think..."
and was promptly sucked into the mirror!----submitted by Anita Aman-- Morgantown, WV

A Blond goes to a company party and wins a thermos for the doorprize. she asks her co-worker, "What's a thermos?"
He says "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
"Oh!" The next day at work, she brings it with her. Her boss, who is also a blond, says "What's that?
The Blond says "It's a thermos." Her boss asks her, "What's that?"
She says "It keeps hot things hot and cold thing s cold." Her boss asks her, "What do you have in it?"
The blond says, "Two cups of coffee and a pop-sickle."

What can strike a blond without her ever knowing it?
A Thought! ---submitted by Robert Sandor, Grafton WV

Did you hear about the blond prisoner who was found in his cell with half a dozen bumps on his head?
He tried to hang himself with a bungee cord.

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the tropper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!" ..."NO," the blonde yelled back, "ITS A SCARF!"

The blonde reported for her university final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet--Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in 1/2 hour. But I'm rechecking my answers".

What do you call a Blond in the freezer?
A Frosted Flake!---submitted By Cara Bassford.. Laurel, MD

brunette: Knock, Knock
dumb blond: Who's there?
brunette: Cow go
dumb blond: Cow go who?
brunette: No it's cow go moo.....
I always knew you were a dumb blond.

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blond guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blond opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.
The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too.
The blond opens his lunch, sees the bologna and
jumps to his death also.
At the funeral The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she said. "He made his own lunch."

SACRIFICE

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly
swinging rope suspended from a crumbling outcropping on
Mount Everest. Ten were blonde, one was a brunette.

As a group they decided that one of the party should let go.
If that didn't happen the rope would break and everyone
would perish. For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.

Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she
would sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.
The blondes applauded.---submitted by Cara Bassford; Laurel, MD

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight
from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like
to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she 
politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
    
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot
of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines
and tries to get some sleep.
    
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the 
answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you 
$50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the
match. This catches the blonde's attention and figuring that there will
be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
    
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth
to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, 
pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
    
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her
with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all
his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches 
the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to
all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an
hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes 
the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep.
    
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and 
asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde 
reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

John gets a call from his very blonde girlfriend Chrissy.

"I've got a problem," says Chrissy.

"What's the matter?" asks John.

"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard.  None of
the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asks John.

"It's of a big rooster," replies Chrissy.

"All right," says John.  "I'll come over and have a look."

So he goes over to Chrissy's house and she greets him by saying,
"Thanks for coming over."  Chrissy leads John into her kitchen and
shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.

John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For
heaven's sake, Chrissy, put the corn flakes back in the box."

One day a blonde woke up from a horrible sleep
and realized that she hurt everywhere she touched!
So she went to the doctor and told him, "I don't know what
to do doctor, I am in pain everywhere!""When I touch my arm
it hurts. When I touch my head, my ear, my nose, my stomach,
and even my purse hurts, I feel severe pain!"she exclaimed.
The doctor looked at the blonde and knew right away what it was.
He opened his mouth and said, "Your finger is broken!"

A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which.
A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail off one horse and
that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush.
It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's
tail and our blonde friend was stuck again.
The neighbor suggested she notch the ear of one horse.
That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a
barbed wire fence.
Once again our blonde friend couldn't tell them apart.
The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height.
When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white
horse was 2 inches taller than the black one.
---submitted by Kim Wesson-Englewood,Florida

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend."The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet". So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money".The blonde replied, "well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

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Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Washington D.C. One sat
in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.
Just before take-off, a blonde physician got on and took the
aisle seat next to the two attorneys. The blonde physician
kicked off her shoes, wiggled her toes and was
settling in when the attorney in the window seat
said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke."

"No problem," said the blonde physician, "I'll get it for you."

While she was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the
blonde physician's shoe and spat in it. When she returned
with the coke, the other attorney said, "That looks
good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the blond physician obligingly went to fetch it and
while she was gone, the other attorney picked up the
other shoe and spat in it. The blonde physician returned and
they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane
was landing, the blonde physician slipped her feet into her
shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" she asked. "This fighting
between our professions? This hatred? This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?
submitted by Scott Walker--Lake Ridge, VA

What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
"Hi, welcome to McDonalds."

A blond woman finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust
and she's in serious financial trouble. She's so desperate that she
decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me.
I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose
my house as well. Please let me win the lotto." Lotto night comes and
somebody else wins it.
She again prays "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my
business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night
comes and she still has no luck. Once again, she prays..."My God, why
have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My
children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always
been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one
time so I can get my life back in order.
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and she
is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "At least meet me halfway on
this -- buy a ticket."

A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, 
so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. 
She goes to the video store and,  after looking around
 for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something
 comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment, 
there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls 
the video store to complain.

"I just rented an adult movie from you
 and there's nothing on the tape, but static."

The Store Clerk replied,"Sorry about that. 
We've had problems with some of those tapes.
 Which title did you rent?"

To which the Blonde answered,
"It's called 'Head Cleaner' ".

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. 
The barman charges him 15 cents. 
Confused, but not complaining, the man pays.

After a while he decides to have another, and some
food, so he orders another beer and a steak. 
The barman charges him 50 cents, 
15 for the beer and 35 for the food.

After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman
over and says, "Mate, that was the best steak I've ever
had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him."

"No problem," says the barman. 
"He's upstairs with my wife."

"What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" asks the man.

"Probably the same thing I'm doing to his business down here!"

Two girls, a blond and a brunette, were standing at heaven's gate, waiting to be interviewed by St. Peter.

Brunette: "How did you get here?"
Blond: "Hypothermia. You?"
Brunette: "You won't believe it. I was sure my husband was cheating on me, so I came home early one day hoping to find the girl. I accused my husband of unfaithfulness and searched the whole house without any luck. Then I felt so bad about the whole thing I had a massive heart attack."
Blond: "Oh, gosh, if you had checked the walk-in freezer, we'd both be alive."

One day a Blonde Man spotted a lamp by the roadside.
He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously and a genie appeared.
"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said,
"I want a spectacular job--a job that no man has ever succeeded
at or has ever attempted to do."
"Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

This blonde goes into an elavator and a bellboy was in there. She said T.G.I.F. and the bell boy says S.H.I.T.
The blonde says T.G.I.F. and the bellboy says S.H.I.T.
The blonde says T.G.I.F. and the bellboy say S.H.I.T.
The blonde says "Thank god it's Friday"
and the bellboy says " Sorry honey it's Thursday".

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A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for
the loan officer. She says she is going to Europe on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of scurity for such a loan, so the Blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce
parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to
accept the car as collateral for the loan.
An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Blonde returns, repays
the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Blonde replied, "Where else in New York
can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?
submitted by: Della Sandor ...Englewood, Florida

A traffic cop pulled over a speeding blonde motorist and asked, "Do you have any ID?"
The blonde motorist replied, "About what?"

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT BLONDES
AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is NOT a BABE or a CHICK.
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN!

She is NOT a SCREAMER or MOANER.
She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE!

She is NOT EASY.
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE!

She does NOT TEASE or FLIRT.
She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION!

She is NOT DUMB.
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY!

She has NOT BEEN AROUND.
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION!

She does NOT GET YOU EXCITED.
She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT!

She is NOT KINKY.
She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER!

She does NOT have a KILLER BODY.
She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE!

She is NOT an AIRHEAD.
She is REALITY IMPAIRED!

She does NOT get DRUNK or TIPSY.
She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED!

She does NOT have BREAST IMPLANTS.
She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED!

She does NOT NAG YOU.
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE!
submitted by: Cara Bassford-- Laurel, MD

She tripped over the cordless phone.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

She told someone to meet her at the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," She put "Sagittarius."

If she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes happened around the home, she moved.
Submitted by: Scott Walker---Lake Ridge, Virginia

Did you hear about the blonde who ......

After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition,
complained that
the other swimmers were using their arms.

submitted by Susan Hack, Laurel, MD

A tightwad Blonde was convinced by a friend to buy a couple of tickets in the state lottery. But after she won the big prize, she didn't seem happy. "What's wrong?" the friend ask.
"You just became a millionaire!"
"I know," she groaned. "But I can't imagine why I bought that second ticket!"

Through the pitch black night, the blond captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change your course 10 degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, 10 degrees west."
Angry, the blond captain sends: "I'm a navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the blond captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook,
then takes their last $600 dollars out west to
another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister,
"When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull,
I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch,inspects the bull,
and decides she does want to buy it.
The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town
to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says,
"I want to send a telegram to my sister
telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her,
then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.
She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says,
"I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable'."
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'"
The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow."
submitted by: Noreen Grimes--Sandy Hook, VA

How do men define a "50/50" relationship? .......We cook -- they eat; we clean -- they dirty; we iron -- they wrinkle.

Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? .......To stop the snoring before it starts.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? .......Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? .......Because none of them will stop to ask for directions.

Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? .......When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced the altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted. "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman replied, "You are in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude." "You must be a republican," said the balloonist. "I am," said the woman. "How did you know?" "Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far." The woman below responded. "You must be a democrat." "I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6'tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weightlifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke? The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin.
As they were approaching
Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.
They argued back and forth
until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee...
"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you
please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

A Male blond Joke !!

Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street
and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with
nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots.
So the sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up he asks "Why in the world
are you dressed like this?"
Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was
in the bar down the road and this pretty little red
head asks me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me
to pull off my shirt, so I did....
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull
off my pants, so Idid...
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull
off my shorts, so I did...
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of
funny and says, "Now go to town cowboy"....
So here I am.

submitted by Scott Walker --Lake Ridge, Virginia

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a barstool. After ordering a drink and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb. blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

The blonde had been married about a year
when one day the she came running up to her husband jumping for joy.
Not knowing how to react,
the husband started jumping up and down along with her.
"Why are we so happy?" he asked.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about."
She stopped breathless from all the jumping up and down.
"I'm pregnant!" she gasped.
The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying for a while.
He grabbed her, kissed her, and started telling her how wonderful it was,
and that he couldn't be happier. Then she said, "Oh, honey there's more."
"What do you mean more?", he asked.
"Well we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant,
he asked her how she knew. "It was easy," she said, "I went to the pharmacy
and bought the 2 pack home pregnancy test kit
and both tests came out positive.

Q. There are three girls, all in grade 3:
one a brunette, one a redhead, and one blonde.
Which one of them has the best body?
A. The blonde, because she's 19

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at WalMart?"

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